1
10.01 Laughter, the Universal Language
AIR DATE
9/27/1960
Pantomimes before the United Nations.
2
10.02 Appleby’s Predictions
AIR DATE
10/4/1960
Hen-pecked George Appleby’s predictions are about the fortunes of the Los Angeles Dodgers, the result of some clairvoyant dreams. 1: Monologue, Jokes about baseball. 2: Pantomime, The Little Old Man Playing Ball With The Little Boy.
3
10.03 Clem the Candidate
AIR DATE
10/11/1960
Guest Stars: William Demarest (Senator Burnside)
It seems a political boss named Burnside has the mad notion that Clem would make an ideal presidential candidate. So he arranges for an appearance on a national TV show.
1: Monologue, Jokes about the presidential election, air space man landed in Bevery Hills and needed change for the parking meter, “Do you have change for a hern?”
2: Pantomime, A candidate practicing in front of a dressing table before they go on television.
3. Clem is picked by a computer to be the candidate for president of the United States.
4
10.04 Deadeye and the Magician
AIR DATE
10/18/1960
Maxwell the Magician hypnotizes Deadeye. While Deadeye is under hypnosis, magician instructs him to rob the bank, gambling hall and Wells Fargo. 1: Monologue, Gambling jokes, change for a hern. 2: Pantomime, Old Man At A Testimonial Dinner.
5
10.05 Freddie’s Manhattan
AIR DATE
10/25/1960
A Manhattan real estate devleopment corporation discovers an old land grant book that records the original sale of Manhattan. Also, there is no record legally returning the property to the city. Therefore, they decide to investigate and find the descendant of Henrick Von Freeloader. In doing so, they set up a scheme by which they hope to obtain the legal ownership of Manhattan. 1: Monologue, none.
6
10.06 San Fernando’s Investigating Committee
AIR DATE
11/1/1960
San Fernando Red, who is a beaten politician, seeks revenge for his landslide defeat by investigating the senators on an investigating committee. 1: Monologue, Explanation of the Martian currency.
7
10.07 Appleby’s Time Machine
AIR DATE
11/15/1960
George Appleby is building a time machine, but his wife, Clara, doesn’t think it will ever work. So, George finishes his machine and puts Clara in it.” 1: Monologue, Jokes about cars, jokes about California sunglasses (huge, oversized sunglasses). 2: Pantomime, Vending machine trying to get a cup of coffee.
8
10.08 Clem the Animal Psychiatrist
AIR DATE
11/29/1960
Clem Kadiddlehopper chooses a career. Clem figures because he’s lived on a farm all his life and knows how to talk to animals, he could make a good living as an animal psychiatrist.” 1: Monologue, Jokes about pigs. 2: Pantomime, Giving a dog a bath.
11
10.11 San Fernandocal
AIR DATE
1/3/1961
San Fernando Red comes out with his own diet formula, San Fernandocal, and attempts to bilk a herd of overweight ladies with his mixture. Someone tries to muscle in on the business.
12
10.12 Danny Thomas Show
AIR DATE
1/10/1961
Danny Thomas substituting for Red during his convalescence.
13
10.13 The Garry Moore Show
AIR DATE
1/17/1961
Garry Moore is in the emcee spot substituting for Red during his convalescence.
14
10.14 We’re Gonna Have a Party
AIR DATE
1/24/1961
Jackie Gleason and Arthur Godfrey in an unrehearsed bull session substituting for Red during his convalescence.
15
10.15 Pantomime Concert
AIR DATE
1/31/1961
French pantomimist Marcel Marceau substitutes for Red during his convalescence.
16
10.16 Ed as Red
AIR DATE
2/7/1961
Ed Sullivan substituting for Red during his convalescence. (clip)
17
10.17 Freddie and the Baby
AIR DATE
3/14/1961
An abandoned baby is found by Freddie the Freeloader and his pal, Muggsy, who suddenly have to act like mothers. 1: Monologue, none.
18
10.18 Deadeye and the Alamo
AIR DATE
3/28/1961
Sheriff Deadeye reminisces about the time he fought the Battle of the Alamo all by himself. Well, almost. 1: Monlogue, Jokes about the missing Sweepstakes ticket, jokes about doctors while Red was in the hospital. 2: Pantomime, Old man and little boy together at the amusement park.
19
10.19 Clem’s Theatre
AIR DATE
4/4/1961
A theatrical troupe headed by a Shakespearean actor named Randolph hits Clem’s hometown with plans to use the Kadiddlehopper barn for an auditorium. 1: Monologue, none.
20
10.20 Appleby’s Cufflinks
AIR DATE
4/11/1961
George Appleby somehow gets entangled in a pair of handcuffs with his gorgeous neighbor, Joan Williams, and this does not go over at all with his jealous wife, Clara. 1: Monologue, Jokes about neighbors, jokes about Red’s home in Bel Air. 2: Pantomime, The way different husbands kiss their wives goodbye in the morning.
21
10.21 Freddie’s Band
AIR DATE
4/18/1961
Freddie the Freeloader and his pal, Muggsy, find an old piano at the city dump and Muggsy tries a few licks. The boys decide to round up a band and audition for a TV show. 1: Monologue, none.
22
10.22 Clem the Genius
AIR DATE
4/25/1961
Two scientists try out their new intelligence pill on Clem Kadiddlehopper. The pill transforms knothead Clem into an egg head and the government hires him as a scientific advisor. 1: Monologue, Jokes about astronauts.
23
10.23 Appleby’s Castle
AIR DATE
5/2/1961
George and Clara Appleby receive notice that they’ve become heirs to the title of the late Lord Horace Appleby of England. The elated pair fly to their new castle unaware of the estate taxes still to be paid on the property. 1: Monologue, Jokes about vacation, jokes about travel. 2: Pantomime, About the guards outside Buckingham Palace. The way they stand at attention like statues. No matter what happens they never never move a muscle.
24
10.24 Cauliflower and the Fight Fix
AIR DATE
5/9/1961
Cauliflower McPugg has exchanged upper cuts for haircuts and opened a barber shop. His plans to earn enough money to marry his manucurist are cut short when he receives a subpoena from an investigating committee to testify about corruption in the fight racket. 1: Monlogue, Jokes about the baseball season. 2: Pantomime, Arguments between the umpire at the plate and the batter. As far as the batter is concerned, the umpire is always wrong. Red pantomimes the batter at the plate.
25
10.25 Freddie’s Shipwreck
AIR DATE
5/16/1961
Freddie the Freeloader and his pal, Muggsy, try to stow away on an ocean liner but are thrown off the ship. Still determined to make the cruise, the boys return this time with first-class tickets. 1: Monologue, Jokes about boats. 2: Pantomime, People on the dock when a boat is ready to sail. The different goodbyes: The short fellow on the dock who can’t see over the crowd. The dignified gentleman on the dock. Husband and wife.
26
10.26 San Fernando and Herbie
AIR DATE
5/23/1961
San Fernando Red is operating a fast-traveling talent contest. He has to travel fast because he charges entrants a large fee to compete and the winner is always Ruby, who is his assistant. 1: Monologue, Jokes about strange things that happen in show business. 2: Pantomime, Little old man reminiscing about the days when he used to be a famous juggler in Vaudeville. Tells the story to his friend, a little boy.
27
10.27 Clem’s Watermelons
AIR DATE
5/30/1961
It’s prohibition time and Clem and his girl, Daisy June, have opend a watermelon stand that leaves their customers wide-eyed. The reason? Clem’s melons contain a good percentage of booze. Red portrays both Clem and Bolivar Shagnasty. 1: Monologue, Jokes about the Roaring 20s. Jokes about dancing. 2: Pantomime, The little grandson never tired of his grandfather telling war stories and how he won his medal.
28
10.28 Appleby’s Sleepwalk
AIR DATE
6/6/1961
One morning, Clara Appleby discovers that the ice box has been raided during the night. She’s afraid it must have been a hungry burglar until she learns that husband, George, has been sleepwalking. 1: Monologue, Jokes about sleeping. Jokes about nightgowns. 2: Pantomime, The way different people snore.
29
10.29 Freddie Gets Sick
AIR DATE
6/13/1961
Freddie the Freeloader and his pal, Muggsy, have lived at the city dump for years. This fact astounds Dr. Benson and his colleagues. Who want the place condemned as a health menace. So, Benson takes Freddie in for an examination. 1: Monologue, Jokes about babies. 2: Pantomime, Proud Fathers. The way different proud fathers act when they walk up to the big glass window and see their baby for the first time.
30
10.30 Candid Clem
AIR DATE
6/20/1961
A television program called “Hidden Camera” is looking for new pastures and the Kadiddlehopper farm is where they wind up. The cameramen want to be sure they get interesting results so they wire Clem’s horse for sound. 1: Monologue, Jokes about the new rocket belts. 2: Pantomime, Biology lesson taught on television. 3: Pantomime, The cowboy and the good marshal that has been hit.
31
10.31 Appleby’s Remote Control
AIR DATE
6/27/1961
Poor George Appleby is not only stuck with doing the housekeeping but he has to listen to wife Clara’s constant nagging. When he accidentally breaks the remote control for the TV set, he suddenly sees his salvation. 1: Monologue, Jokes about bachelors. Jokes about marriage. 2: Pantomime, Elopement.
